Thursday, May 31, 2007


So I'm thinking about how good I've been feeling, how easy it will be to lose some weight and feel even better, how lucky I am to have healthy children, how JAC and I are reasonably healthy and vital and how easy it is for us to decide to go on a vacation or clean the siding on the house or...

And then I found this. And it smacked me right in the face. This is what my brother has. He has RA right now, but has tested + for Lupus. So he wakes up, and I'm guessing a lot of days he doesn't even know how many spoons he will have. Some days might get better as they go on, some won't. And Annie has Sjorgren's, as does my Dad. They might know how many spoons they have, but not how fast they'll get taken away during the day.

Please - I don't even want to think about whether this is going to hit me, or my kids, or anyone else. Ever. This is the hardest part about making parental decisions. Knowing that the repercussions are permanent, that they will forever affect their lives. And that if I had done one thing differently, it might not ever have happened.

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