What's Fair?

What IS fair? It is such a confusing, complicated world. I can't find answers, sometimes, things just don't seem to add up. Firstly, in talking with Mary Eglow, there is WAY too much parental involvement in college students' lives. Parents writing applications, essays, calling professors to adjust grades. How can kids who write their own essays, earn their own grades, compete with that? NOT fair.

Second, how can someone be happy with their life, and yet so miserably unhappy? How can I work so hard at this one thing that I can never succeed at? How can this be fair?

Third, How can I be an embarrassment to my daughter, when I work so hard at not embarrassing her? Just being me, evidently. Is that fair?

A war about us, about freedom, or a war about not changing, about spending it all, about never having to work harder. Tens, maybe hundreds of thousands of people dying in a country where life is already hard. Do we have the right to change their world, and not take responsibility for changing ours? Is that fair?

I have such conflicting feelings about all these, and so many more, issues. Switching from B'nai Sholom to Beth Emmet is conflicting, and I really hope that it will help me figure out some of these conflicts. How much, and when, do I trust in the Universe? When do I try harder?

Springing on by

It sure feels like life is in fast forward right now. Orin ploughing through Kindergarten - writing books and reading, figuring out adding and multiplication, learning about artists, geography, and managing friendships. And Beckey - her Bat Mitzvah is fast approaching (6.5 weeks now!), and it is feeling both invigorating and frightening. All the mistakes will become glaringly obvious, but she will be the shining star (that she really is), she's got 2 parsha pieces left to learn, and some practice on the big prayers (v'ahafta, for example), but lots of work is done, and she's awesome. It feels like Jerry is getting old quickly now, which is NOT ok. He's stressed out, and work is hard. I'm feeling a little scared for him. I'm aging too, clearly - hbp, A1C over 7, thyroid out of wack, period slightly wonky. But I don't feel old, too much, yet. I'm walking 12+ miles every week, and doing some writing. I have my amazing kids, and I'm still grooving along better than the (very old) dog. :D We're working on summer plans - including Cape Cod and camps (thank goodness for tax returns!). So forward we march!


Easter! My birthday. Passover, Spring Equinox, we LOVE our holidays! We actually did nothing for Passover this year - we were at Bob and Mary's, but ate pizza and weird 2112 food. It was a good visit, Harry Potter was a hit, as were the wanderings through mid town that we took, just me and the kids. It was fun. Easter was with James, Alex, and Hannah - a fun hunt and lots of candy, followed by baskets galore and a nice easy hang out day. YAY!

My birthday was fun, easy, and lovely. We had a kind of rainy day, so we all did shopping together (including suit for Jerry, dress for Beckey, and odds and ends for the house), and hung out big time - games and food and familia love. Spring sprang with little celebration this year - it's very on/off for Spring - 50 and rainy one day, 80 and hot the next. Weird weather for sure. Orin has now had his 2nd sleepover! He had Kyle over last month, and Ryan came last weekend. Susan said Ryan had fun, and we really enjoyed having him. My boy grows older and better and sweeter every day.

Ok, JAC is out of town, working and driving and working, and it is time for flying solo mama to get the kids off to bed. It will be good to have everyone back together for the weekend, which is full of soccer and (Mah jongg!) Sunday School.

Right, or Left

Orin and I have been reading Roald Dahl's BFG lately, and I love that he laughs while snuggled in bed, listening to my funny voices. I love the goofy time we spend, warm and solid together. One of his favorite lines is oft repeated - the BFG asks Sophie "Right? or left?" when he really means "isn't that right!". Orin laughs and I giggle and we snuggle a little closer and keep reading.

Beckey and I, on the other hand, started reading Gone with the Wind, which is NOT funny, or not VERY funny. There are lots of very descriptive sections which she really struggles to stay focused through, in addition to it being the very end of the day/night. She is not loving it, but I think once we get through this beginning section and into a part with more action, she will see the payoffs for understanding these characters so well. Right, or Left?

The past 8 weeks, I have made it to 3 of the 4 Albany Written Art Studio meetings. I am getting a thicker skin, appreciating their time and love and effort, and - I think - making some progress! I have made it about 80% through chapter 2, and feel like chapter 1 is in good shape, though not finished. It's a pleasure to feel progress! It feels so, so ... progressive! So NOT cleaning bathrooms or making shopping lists or cutting coupons or listening to my kid practice something. again. So it's been wonderful getting this far, and I am really appreciative and looking forward to more!

Moving forward getting a 504 plan for Beckey, now, as we are seeing some deficiencies in her work skills. Studying for tests, planning through larger projects, staying organized, keeping track of assignments and papers. She for sure is not the only 12 year old to confront this hurdle, and I know that the school is making room for all the kids to get up to speed, but there is no lack of work, and there is an increasing gap in her comfort about the quality and quantity of work she is able to produce right now. Hopefully this is a smooth process, and one that she can really benefit from. I get that there are kids out there with bigger challenges, more issues, and deeper concerns, but that doesn't discount her own needs, challenges, or concerns. Right, or Left?



Gratuitous pic of kidding enjoying a bit of technology and some yummy choc chip flax cookies.

3 R's vs 3 I's

In consideration of recent crap happening at B and O's school, I've been thinking about what the drawbacks of public school in general - and our schools here in Bethlehem in particular - would be. Their over-emphasis on standardization of learning is a bummer. This inherently reduces the importance of art, language, imagination, and inquiry. Which got me thinking that there really are three subjects that are of utmost importance for us to help our kids learn, but they are NOT reading, writing (not an R) or 'rithmatic (also not an R). They are imagination, inquiry, and inventiveness. These are skills that take creativity and initiative and are the most likely to lead to actual contribution - not high level of spatial relations or even high vocabulary. It isn't about 'getting it' (algebra, grammar, literature), it's about putting something out there that makes new connections (mirror neurons), measures things in a way that is completely new and useful, or bringing understanding to the dark places of human inquiry. Time to go - more later.

Smilebox for Poppy - happy Chanukah!

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What make me bad?

I have, in my brief sojourn, been bad. I have been bad ass, a bad kid, a bad mom, a bad Jew, a bad person, and a bad ballplayer. I have also had bad breath occasionally, played badly at Mah Jongg, been a bad driver, and - on very rare occasions, had bad taste. But mostly, I think I'm a pretty good person. I haven't killed anyone - yet - or broken an oath in court, though that opportunity has not yet arisen. I have broken laws, commandments, rules, and expectations with some measure of abandon, and yet I STILL feel like I'm a pretty good person. I try to be respectful of people, though I fail from time to time. I try not to burn down anyone's house, to feel for the injustice and injury done to people around the world through neglect, intentional injustice, and historical accident. I guess I understand why we have rules, legal and social, but what I don't understand is how some people can call rules ideas, and the next person calls them commandments. Which is it, because those are fundamentally two different things to me. Time for me to go make dinner, which is a law around here, and one that I have found when broken, makes me a bad mother, wife, and person - my own peckishness can be an issue. So hopefully, as I grow up (taller, more beautiful, driving a bmw and zonkered into my iPad), I will come to more fully appreciate what things are out there that make me bad. Cause sometimes being bad is what differentiates me from the Abercrombie wearing, Prius driving norm, out there. And I'm tired of them saying that I'm bad for not being one of them.

Season 3

Soccer season 3 - 3 cool new coaches, new friends like Alex S., rediscovering his talents (goofing around during practice) and improving his skills (like striking). Orin has really enjoyed all the running around, scoring, flying like an eagle after a hard won score, playing a bit of defense (really, this boy is not a big D kind of kid). Jerry and I enjoyed sitting on the sidelines (yelling PASS, PASS THE BALL!), and had fun with the other parents on the team (Robin, Nancy, Maryanne, all great gals). But one kid who didn't befriend Orin especially, and who's parent's didn't especially become part of a core of moms and dads doling out snacks, sharing waters, or picking up the kids (often out of the mud) was Molly, for sure the one kid on this team who really impressed me. She's little, smaller than anyone else on the K team (except Charlie, who is REALLY tiny), wears her coke bottle 4" thick glasses strapped to her head, and runs sort of helter skelter, like even with these binocular telescopes on her head, she can barely see a thing. Born at 1lb 6oz, she has struggled since before her own birth to live, to be strong, and to be a part of this world. She is tenacious on the field, sweeter than syrup on the sidelines, cheers for her team on her breaks, sucks down oranges during half time, and thrills at the touch of the ball on her pink cleats. She is amazing, truly spirited, and brings to bear the whole point of this game - to bring each other up, along for the ride, and into the ecstasy of hard won success. Thank you Molly, for your amazing spirit and thanks to the coaches and the team for all their wonderful cheer and hard work.