Monday, October 07, 2013

I lost my sweet Maa last week.

I could go on about how wonderful she was (because she was), or how much she meant to me, but I have a terrible headache from crying already.  I wrote this to her actual children, actual as in biological.  I was one of their several adopted children.  I will miss her till my own parting, as I miss her husband and my Paa, Tank.  Rest in Peace my friends.

Dear POD and Sue

I hope the memorial was perfect - in the sense that so many people touched by your Mum were there, able to support each other, laugh together and be glad together for her long and amazing life.  I've spent the last week saying goodbye to Maa in ways that feel meaningful to me, from so far away.

I know that once you wrap up her accounts, it is likely that we will not have comms from that point on, so I wanted to say goodbye to you, too, older brother and sister I never had, or met.  I heard all about you as kids, romping through your home, going to events and on trips.  Your Dad was especially vocal about memories of you both, your friends and fun times.  Joanie was more about your moves, promotions, grandkids, both very proud parents!  It was wonderful getting to know you through them.

Losing first Tank and now Joan has been very hard; it was a lonely grief both times.  Your parents helped to form a part of my life which was very significant and meaningful to me.  They taught me so much about being connected and generosity, they were the first people to ever offer me unconditional love.  My husband met your folks, but he really never got to know them - we stayed at Down Place for a weekend so that they could meet him, and so that I could say goodbye to them on my way back to N. America.  I never did see either of them again.  I can still feel your daddy's giant hug goodbye, and maa's soft kisses.

I wanted to thank you both for sharing your family with me.  Tank was so big, and filled up so much space in my heart, and Joanie filled in every missing piece left burnt and raw by my selfish, crazy mother.  Your parents knew how to pick an orphan!  Lainey too had so much need of them, I am thinking a lot of her, these days, as well.  Tank and Joan both had hearts so big and generous, it's been an honor and a blessing to have been part of their world.  You are both super people, I wish you and both of your families all the very best in your futures.

If indeed you'd like to maintain comms, I'd be very happy to, though I imagine if you tried to maintain all your parents friendships, you'd have no time for your own!  So be well, both of you.

With love,

Andy Lee

No comments: