I don't know how to say it all

Last night I opened the puter late, around 11. I checked emails, I said hello to the wise women, then checked df. And there it was. A post from Jeni with an MDC link. I linked, and was toppled by what it said. I called that late, thinking that either it was a hoax and they'd think what a freak! Or it was true, and Larry would still be up. Probably most of the night. He was up. Probably most of the night. My friend Laura, 36 years old and otherwise healthy, is dead. She leaves a neigh turned 3yo and a special needs 5 yo, her husband, and her extended family and friends behind. To me, LAura was the epitome of female strength. She birthed 2 preemie babies, and was there, by their sides, every day for months. Longer for M than for K. She pumped milk for that baby for SEVEN freaking months, giving her the absolutely best food and love she could. Finally M took to the breast (and never looked back lol!). Laura lived through the Navy, through neglect in her childhood, and through a marriage full of all the foibles that every marriage encounters. And she faced it all with patience, love, grace, gratitude, and strength. She spent days on medications that incapacitated her, left her shaking and puking and unable to walk to the toilet - to keep her baby in a few more days. She patiently worked with K and the potty issues, with M and the nursing issues, with L and his own needs and issues. I don't know what he will do now - appreciate the amazing woman he married in a way we can't while our loved ones are still alive. But he will manage, perhaps become more of a man than he ever dreamed of becoming because of this. And the little ones, who will have little in the way of memories of their mama, it's just too horrible for me to think about. All the love and energy she poured into them, the consideration and thoughtfulness, the planning and mulling over of ideas and they will remember none of it. They are just too small. I don't know what to say to it all. I feel inadequate to the task of writing about someone I admired and loved this much, how big and full her life was of STUFF - coops and hs groups and play groups and therapy for K and her MW work and her night job and all the neighbors and people and family who each have their own memories of her. Laura will be dearly missed in her corporeal form, and so welcome and met with such gratitude in her spiritual one.