Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Mentally irresponsible

I lost Orin at the library. He is 3, so very very three. When we'd been there a while, done ALL the puzzles, twice, some of them thrice, looked at the fish, played with the toys, picked out an obscene number of books, and chosen a few movies, it was really really time to go. I asked him to come with me to check our stuff out. I don't generally leave w/out him, even if he's being stubborn, but he was being silly and stubborn and I was getting mad. So I backed off, took the library basked (very heavy) with me, and went to the archway that divides the children's from the adult library. I stood looking at the display there (a nice one about autumn and apples), and waited for him to come along. Instead the little pisher snuck around the backside of the children's library, and while I was looking across the children's section waiting for his little tow head to appear, he went behind me, right out the door (maybe he didn't see me?) down the hall out the two sets of electric doors and down the path to the sidewalk. Well, not seeing his little self arriving any time soon, I put the basket down, and walked down to the back of the children's section to see where the HECK he was. Nowhere, is where he was! So as I am hurrying back across the children's section (realizing that he's 90% likely to have gotten behind me, not hiding under a table in a far corner), there's a lady with him up on the counter at the main circulation desk. That moment of absolutely freezing panic receded, overtaken by embarrassment and a bit of anger at this imp, he was obviously fine, and he hadn't been gone more than two or three minutes (how come he doesn't walk that fast when we NEED him to?). So I thanked the woman, I asked her if he'd been scared. She said no. Then proceeded to tell me that I was mentally unstable and an irresponsible parent, to let the child wander away by himself. The librarian chimed in to let me know that there is a sex offender living in the neighborhood. Honestly, I was truly taken aback by it all. I have rescued more than one child in my time, little ones just walking, older ones who lost their group or family, there was never ever even once the idea that the parents were negligent because the child had wandered away. I grew up in a family that encouraged and gave opportunities for their children to become independent, smart decision makers, and to learn when independence was appropriate and when to stick with the crowd. It turned me into someone who has globally traveled in some places many people wouldn't DREAM of visiting, and I got to experience things they never will. I treasure those memories, they are my pride and joy (after my naughty children). My parents may not have done everything right, but I wish for nothing more than to be mentally irresponsible and give my children that same confidence, smarts, and independence that will open up to them vistas and pathways that fear and dependence keeps closed. But maybe when he's 4.

2 comments:

Karen said...

hugs again, Andy!
I think part of the thing is that we are living in a culture of fear.
You are a good mama.

Karen said...

hugs again, Andy!
I think part of the thing is that we are living in a culture of fear.
You are a good mama.